The Nightly News-- Dilcher Style

This will give you more of an idea of the connection between twins....or at least mine. That connection enables them to feed off one another at the drop of a hat. They are so connected that then can create a show within minutes....seconds, even....of having the idea in their head. Case in point:

About three years ago, as we were just settling in on the couch for another evening in front of the tube, my husband began changing channels to see if the news was on. The TV screen went blank, there was a low hum and a loud pop, and then a burning smell. That nasty melting plastic smell that makes you want to pull the front of your shirt up to cover your nose and breathe out of your mouth. Then the smoke started. We quickly hit the power button and unplugged the smoldering beast to prevent a fire. As the kids and I sat in astonishment that this actually happened to us, my husband picked up the TV and took it out to the curb for the next garbage pickup. I quickly snapped out of my dazed stupor and opened the windows and got out the fan (even though it was only about 30 degrees out) to clear the smoke and the stink. Then we all sat down on the couch and stared at the blank space in the entertainment center where the TV was....now what?

Heather and Michael announced that they would be the entertainment that evening. They began to dance and sing, Vaudevillian style. My husband grabbed the remote and stated that he would rather watch sports. They dropped into football "hike" position and mimed a quick football game. I announced that I would rather watch a love story with lots of kissing. Michael said, "EEEEWWWW!" but he grabbed Heather and put his hand over her mouth and planted a loud mushy wet one as he dipped her. Click. Crocodile Hunter came on. Heather flopped on the floor, gnashing her teeth like a ferocious 16 foot croc, while Mike jumped on her back yelling, "Crikey, you're a grumpy girl!"

But the best of all was the last scenario. I clicked the remote and announced that it was time for the news. Despite the fact that they were exhausted from all this falderal, Mike dropped to his knees behind the coffee table, propped up his hands as if he was reading his notes, put a hand to his ear in order to hear the announcement in his ear bud better and in his most serious "news" voice announced, "There was an explosion at the Dilcher house this evening."

That, my friends, is the epitome of quick thinking.