No Cheeseburger? OK, I'll Have Some Tic-Tacs

3:00 pm: And that's what happened. I called Scott several times...still at Builder's Square. Oh, where was he? (this was before we had cell phones) The doctor wanted me to go right to the hospital, do not pass go, do not collect $200....just get to the hospital. Since I couldn't get a hold of him, I went home despite doctor's orders. I had to pack my bag anyway. We sped to the hospital and got a chance to meet the pediatrician. I was hooked up to the monitors and it was determined that I had been having contractions all day....I just didn't feel them (sorry, girls!). The nurse had a hard time putting the IV in...even though I apparently have a "beautiful vein" in my right inside elbow. So she put it in the back of my hand..... OUCH!

5:00 pm I met the anesthesiologist. He gave me the lowdown on what would happen. He asked when I had eaten last. "Lunchtime? Good. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah. When do I get to have a cheeseburger? I'm starving."

"Well, probably not til after your surgery."

"OK, when exactly?"

"Well, you'll be in the hospital for a few...."

"WHEN?!!!!" Don't you people know that you are not supposed to keep food from a pregnant woman!? That's like trying to take a fish from a bear! What are you? Stupid?

6:30 pm: The family arrives to my delivery room. As they enter, I hear the sounds of another woman in labor....obviously a wicked contraction... hmmm.....funny.... I ask them if they happened to be hiding any cheeseburgers in their pockets or purses. Damn, no luck. Mom offered to get me ice chips. Only if they are cheeseburger flavored. (Funny, cheeseburgers were one of two cravings I had...the other was Stove Top Stuffing...right out of the can.)

9:30 pm: The anesthesiologist would do a spinal block. I had to sit on the edge of the operating table and hunch my back as the nurse held me. The anesthesiologist gave me a shot of Novocaine (funny how Novocaine is supposed to prevent pain and yet it's the most painful shot I have ever had) in my back to block the sensation of the much large needle going in (Thank God, I didn't have to see it). I remember him saying, "Let's get her back up on the table, before her legs go numb." I got news for ya, I can't feel them already! I remember being so cold and shivering through the entire procedure. They even brought me a blanket from the warmer, but it didn't help.

9:45 pm: They put the shield up over my chest and brought Scott in....despite his apparent opposition....in a wheelchair, wearing scrubs. My doctor came in dressed in her scrubs and ever fashionable yellow Crocs. She got up on her stool; she needed one as she is a mere 5 feet tall. How else would she see over my huge belly? And from what I could tell, she began prepping me for the C-section. The next thing I remember, a small dot of liquid dropped onto my face. The anesthesiologist said she had just cut through the membrane and broke my water. I didn't even know I had been opened yet! I heard a sound....grunting, mewling, then a cry. The doctor held up "Baby A"... a girl. She was whisked away by a team of baby experts.

9:46pm: On to "Baby B"...for boy! He was plucked from his warm cozy nest and all was strangely quiet. Doctors and nurses buzzed quietly, while Scott watched. I couldn't see a thing in my position. Finally a faint gurgle and a cry and I relaxed.....and burst into tears. All was good. The boy was having difficulty breathing, but they were working hard to clear his lungs. He would be fine, but need to be in an oxygen tent for a bit (24 hours). As I was being stitched up, Scott points out a tank to my right....."Isn't that cool?" I looked and nearly threw up (thank God I hadn't had that cheeseburger!).....there staring me in the face was my insides, my placenta, and such. The kids were placed in their own little tanks and wheeled out. I got to see them as they passed.....my two tiny tic-tacs wrapped so tightly in warm blankies, it was hard to tell if there were arms and legs!

Scott was able to take their baby books and get a footprint. He joined me in the recovery room. He was so excited that he plopped the books down on the end of the bed.....right on my legs. "Omigosh, I'm sorry...did that hurt?" Nope, can't feel a thing yet! I asked the recovery nurse if I could have my cheeseburger yet. Nope. No food in the recovery room. "OK, then can I sleep? I'm exhausted."

"Well, once we get you cleaned up, we'll take you to your room. But the nurses will be in every hour to check your vitals."

"So that means your not going to let me sleep, either."

"Not really, sorry"

What kind of hospital is this anyway? No cheeseburgers! No sleep! I'm telling Mom!

I didn't get any sleep that first night. Between the nurses poking me every hour and the spinal block wearing off.....did I mention how wonderful Depacote is?....and wondering about my babies. They were not tic-tacs any more.....they were real babies. What did they look like? Did they have my nose? Scott's eyes? What was it like for my little boy in that oxygen tent?

Did I mention that I was in extreme pain? My entire abdomen was extremely sore..what with an 8+ inch incision and all. The nurses all expected me to get up and walk down the hall to the NeoNatal Unit to see my kids. I couldn't do it....it hurt so bad! For the first couple of days I was wheeled in the wheelchair, then I had to push the wheelchair. My second evening in the hospital, I couldn't sleep. I had pumped a little breastmilk and thought I would go see the kids and drop it off. I managed to push the wheelchair all the way down the hall to see the kids and was met by the neonatal night nurse. I told her I had brought down some breastmilk and thought I could rock my babies and bond with them a little. She told me, "Honey, they don't even know who you are, so go back to bed and get some sleep." I never thought I would have post partum depression....until that moment. I was completely crushed (yes, I did file a complaint). I did however, take away something from that snide comment. "Go back to bed and get some sleep." Get it now while you can. You will not have many opportunities where someone will take care of you babies so you can get caught up on the precious little sleep new mommies need.

Little did I know......